Mikey Jacques (mikeyjacques) wrote,
Mikey Jacques
mikeyjacques

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words won't quit.

My head is absolutely everywhere sometimes, like right now..
Here are some questions that come up quite often when I am alone.

What do you do when the rug is pulled out from under your feet?
How hard do you fall when you had no idea it was going to be pulled out as soon as it was?
When you hit the ground, can you figure out which hurts more, your body or your ego or your heart?
Have you ever asked yourself, "What's next?" because you don't think you can handle much more?
Have you ever tried to explain something to someone, but you couldn't because you were too busy trying to pretend to be happy?
Have you ever wondered how you'll ever get to sleep tonight?
Do you know what it's like to stare at the ceiling blurred by tears like glossy blankets on your eyes?
Have you ever been so grateful for the intense support and ear of a friend?
Have you ever wanted to take away the pain of your friend long enough so they could get some rest?
Do you know what it's like to think, "Is this really happening to me?"
Have you ever been so exhausted from carrying the weight of life around that you might lose your will to complain?
Has anyone ever said words to you that were the exact words you had most feared you'd hear?
Have you ever wondered if someone is lying to you because the truth is so humiliating to you they can't even spare to tell you?
Have you ever kicked yourself for being right in the first place but letting it get to where it is?
Do you regret things?
Have you ever felt like such a fool that when others insult you, you let their harsh words seep into your skin right to your soul?
Are you familiar with that feeling of not knowing how long it's going to take this time to forget, move on and really start your life again?
Have you ever gotten tired of being understanding and forgiving?
Have you ever just wanted to be mad and hurtful?
Have you ever been sick and tired of the same old shit?
Do you know what it's like to hate?
Do you know what it's like to want to hate because it feels better than admitting you're hurt?
Don't you hate it when someone's made a mistake that you know they'll regret one day?
Don't you ever just want to stop them and slap sense into them?
Do you believe that awful things are blessings in disguise?
Have you ever kept a secret?
Do you know what it's like to have to share when you crave privacy?
Do you remember thinking, "Maybe it's my fault?"
Do you remember then thinking, "It's not my fault?"
Can you imagine life the way it will be now when things were another way for so long?
Do you know what it's like to wish you could speed up time?
Has anyone ever made you feel stupid when that's the last thing they wanted to do?
Do you know how much it hurts when you realize you've been lying to yourself?
Has anyone ever been careless with your gifts, be them words or trust?
Can you ever trust anyone again?
Can you ever trust your own judgment again?
Have you ever said to yourself, "Not again"?
Don't you hate it when people were right?
Don't you hate it when you're wrong?
Don't you hate how unsympathetic and judgmental strangers can be to whom they dedicate so much time?
Has anyone ever said, "I told you so," or "no wonder" because they think it's funny, when a day will come that that person will feel the same pain and would die if anyone ever treated them the way they treated others?
Have you ever thought to yourself that you quit?
Have you ever just wanted to give up completely?
Have you ever been so torn between the emotions of wanting to hug someone and slap them across the face?
Have you ever thought that things would be different if you had done things differently?
Have you ever been completely unsatisfied with how things have turned out?
Have you ever just longed for silence?
Has silence ever deafened you?
Have you ever forgotten what it's like to wake up excited about something?
Have you ever woken up and temporarily forgot what made you cry yourself to sleep?
Have you ever then remembered a second later and the whole world collapsed in again before you've even gotten out of bed?
Have you ever asked why, even when you know why because the explanation doesn't seem fair or right at all?
Have you ever found an answer to the billions of questions you can't stop asking when this happens?
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michael, i can relate. you're also an excellent writer.