Just like any other life struggle there are a lot of hurdles out there, a terrifying amount, and if youve dedicated enough time, energy, and hope if youve already gone over enough of the big hurdles, you just cannot imagine starting from scratch again. So, you just make whatever youve ended up with work.
I think when it comes down to it, we all know we want more; we want what we really deserve; and we can put up with any amount of crap for a limited amount of time before we realize that there was no reason to stick around just to be "safe" because eventually, we'll understand that staying in a relationship that we tried to make into more than it was is not a "safe" path at all. It is doomed to fail. And if it doesnt "fail" on paper, itll still fail in our hearts, because we can only lie to ourselves for so long. By then, well wish we were not so afraid to take the harder road with the greater rewards.
Why is it that whenever we have everything except one thing, we can't focus on anything but that one thing. Well, I think we beat ourselves up over this for no good reason. I think life is like a crate of eggs. There are separate spots all lined up, and it doesnt matter if 11 spots are filled, there is still that one hole and nothing else can fill it. Each are designated, and thats it. Sure, its shittier if you have multiple holes empty like I did for a little while, but my point is, there is nothing really wrong with wanting your life to be complete. Im guessing the secret is accepting the fact that there may always be something off, and its nothing to freak out about or rush. Just to deal. The idea of attraction and caring about someone is new to me, a few weeks ago I would be completely freaked out and over it. You can only play the cards dealt out infront of you. You have to let nature take it's course and play your cards the best you can.